God has blessed me multiple times through experiences that were seemingly adding to my burden, but which were in reality helping to make my burden lighter. The most memorable and profound of those experiences is probably my encounter with "the worms".
Today I had another such experience. I am largely buckling beneath the weight of my grief right now. The simplest of activities is daunting. I have neither the energy, nor the mental capacity to deal with them right now.
It was in this setting that my wife informed me of the mountain of tasks that my son, Jeffrey, needed to accomplish within the next two days for Cub Scouts. Although my wife had been working with him on the various activities, he had not yet completed the requirements for earning his "Bear" patch. Unfortunately, the deadline for him to do so is before his tenth birthday later this week.
So, Jeffrey and I began the seemingly herculean task of completing his requirements. We learned about various carpentry and mechanic’s tools, built a birdfeeder, discussed bicycle repair/maintenance, read entries in his scout book, and completed several other activities. It was then that Jennifer discovered that we only had to complete a subset of the assignments in the scout book for him to earn his “Bear” patch. He had essentially been finished before we even started working on it today!
At first blush, the incident may seem like a frustrating one. Spending the day jumping through hoops to complete the requirements for a scout badge certainly wasn’t what I had planned. To be honest, all I really wanted to do was sleep and try to escape the reality of the darkness that has enveloped me.
However, God, in His infinite wisdom, blessed me with a far greater antidote for the darkness that is plaguing my soul: I was blessed to spend the afternoon with my sweet Jeffrey. What appeared on the surface to be a frustrating mistake was, in fact, a tremendous balm and a blessing. Working on birdfeeders and bicycles seemed like nearly impossible assignments given my current mental and emotional state. However, spending the afternoon with Jeffrey—working and talking together—was a strangely comforting and uplifting experience.
I love Jeffrey so much and am so thankful for my wife and all of my children. They are the lighthouses that God has given me to light the way through the darkness I now find myself in. They are my “birdfeeders”—providing me with nourishment to make it through the frozen winter that has settled on my world.
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